Contents
CONTENTS
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| Introduction | |
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| Foreword by the Historian | |
| I. | How the great General Belisarius Was Hoodwinked by His Wife, Whose Lover Became a Monk | |
| II. | How Belated Jealousy Affected Belisarius's Military Judgment, to the Joy of the Enemy | |
| III. | Showing the Danger of Interfering with a Woman's Intrigues, Especially When the Woman Is the Friend of an Empress | |
| IV. | How Theodora, Revenging Her Dear Antonina, Humiliated the Conqueror of Africa and Italy | |
| V. | How Theodora Tricked the General's Daughter Into a Liaison with the Empress's Nephew, and Belisarius Became a Public Laughing Stock | |
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| VI. | Ignorance of the Emperor Justin, and His Stencilled Signature; and How His Nephew Justinian Was the Virtual Ruler | |
| VII. | Outrages of the Blues | |
| VIII. | Character and Appearance of Justinian | |
| IX. | And How Theodora, Most Depraved of All Courtesans, Won His Love | |
| X. | How Justinian Created a New Law Permitting Him to Marry a Courtesan On Her Promise to Repent Her Past; and the Truth About the Apparent Quarrels of a Happy Pair | |
| XI. | How the Defender of the Faith Ruined His Subjects | |
| XII. | Proving that Justinian and Theodora Were Actually Fiends in Human Form | |
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| XIII. | Deceptive Affability and Piety of a Tyrant | |
| XIV. | Justice for Sale | |
| XV. | How An Roman Citizens Became Slaves, and a Complaining Patrician Was Ribaldly Mocked by Theodora's Eunuchs | |
| XVI. | What Happened to Those Who Fell Out of Favor with Theodora | |
| XVII. | How She Saved Five Hundred Harlots from a Life of Sin, Made Away with Her Own Natural Son, and Other Curious Incidents of Her Passion for Match Making | |
| XVIII. | How Justinian Killed a Trillion People | |
| XIX. | How He Seized All the Wealth of the Romans and Threw It Away In the Sea and On the Barbarians | |
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| XX. | Debasing of the Quaestorship | |
| XXI. | The Sky Tax, the Selling of All Offices, and How Border Armies Were Forbidden to Punish Invading Barbarians | |
| XXII. | Further Corruption in High Places | |
| XXIII. | How Land Owners Were Ruined | |
| XXIV. | Unjust Treatment of the Soldiers, and How Justinian Tricked the "Students" Out of Their Pay by Threatening to Send Them to War | |
| XXV. | How He Robbed His Own Officials, Merchants, Sailors, Workmen, and Everybody Else | |
| XXVI. | How He Spoiled the Beauty of the Cities and Plundered the Poor | |
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| XXVII. | How the Defender of the Faith Protected the Interests of the Christians | |
| XXVIII. | His Violation of the Laws of the Romans, and How Jews Were Fined for Eating Lamb | |
| XXIX. | Other Incidents Revealing Him as a Liar and a Hypocrite | |
| XXX. | Further Innovations of Justinian and Theodora, and a Conclusion Which Imagines the Death of an Emperor |