XLIII. The Maqáma of the Dinar
XLIII. THE MAQAMA OF THE DINAR
‘ÍSÁ IBN HISHÁM related to us and said: I happened to have made a vow to give a dinar in charity to the greatest mendicant in Baghdad. I enquired for him and I was directed to Abú’l Fatḥ al-Iskanderí. So I went to him to bestow it upon him, and I found him amongst some companions who had gathered in a circle around him. So I said: 'O sons of Sásán, which of you knows his stock-in-trade best and is the sharpest in his art so that I may give him this dinar?' Said al-Iskanderí: 'I am.' Another of the company said: 'Nay, but I am.' Then they wrangled and disputed till I said: 'Let each of you revile his fellow, then whoever gains the mastery carries off the booty, and whoever overcomes takes the spoil.' 2 So al-Iskanderí said: 'O cold of the old woman! 3 O sultriness of Tammuz! 4 O
filth of the goglet! 1 O non-current dirhem! O conversation of the singers! 2 O unfortunate year! O unlucky star! O oppression of the nightmare! 3 O sick headache! O Ummú Ḥubein! 4 O ophthalmia! O morning of separation! O estrangement of friends! O hour of death! O scene of the martyrdom of al-Ḥusain! O burden of debt! O mark of infamy! O ill-starred messenger! O banished for his meanness! O porridge of garlic! O desert of the Zaqqum! 5 O refuser to lend the things of the house! O year of the bubonic plague! O rebellious slave! O damnatory clause! O oft-repeated speech! O worse than
(till) in various constructions! O worm of the privy! O furred garment in the summer-quarters! O coughing of the host, when the bread is broken! O belch of the intoxicated! O fetid breath of the hawks! O peg of the tent! 6 O prop 7 of the pot! O non-recurring Wednesday! 8 O avarice of the vanquished at dice! O grumbling of the tongue! O lotium spadonis! O eating of the blind! O intercession of the naked! 9 O Saturday of the children! 10 O letter of condolence! 11 O pool of impurities! O
stinginess of the man of Ahwaz! 1 O garrulousness of the man of Rayy! 2 By Heavens! if thou wert to place one of thy feet on Arwand 3 and the other on Demawand, 4 take in thy hand the rainbow and card the clouds in the garments of the angels, thou wouldst only be a wool-carder!'
Then said the other: 'O trainer of monkeys! O felt of the Jews! O fetid breath of the lions! O non-entity in existence! O dog in strife! O monkey on the carpet! O pumpkin with pulse! 5 O less than nothing! O fumes of naphtha! 6 O stench of the armpit! O decline of power! O halo of death! O viler than one to whom clings the disgrace of divorce and refuses to return the marriage dowry! O mud of the road! O water taken in the state of fasting! 7 O shaker of the bone! 8 O accelerator of digestion! O tartar of the teeth! O filth of the ears! O tougher than the rope of cocoanut fibre! O less than a fals! 9 O more traitorous than a tear! O more rebellious than a needle! O direction of the boot! O landing-place of the palms! O the word 'would that'! O leaking of the house! O such and
such! 1 By Heavens! wert thou to place thy seant on the stars and extend thy feet to the limits of the world, take Sirius as a boot and the Pleiades as a raiment, and wert to make the sky a loom, weave the air into a coat, make its woof with the Flying Vulture and weave it with the revolving sphere, thou wouldest be but a weaver!' 2
Said ‘Ísá ibn Hishám: 'By Heavens! I did not know which of the two I should prefer, for nought proceeded 'from them save marvellous language, wonderful aptness, and intense enmity. So I left the dinar before them undivided and I know not what Time did with them.'
Footnotes
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- 165:1
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- 165:8
… Non-recurring Wednesday: The unlucky Wednesdays of the month, to which this is an allusion, are those which have the number four, e.g. the fourth or the fourteenth of the month; the fourteenth or twenty-fourth, or the fourth before the end of the month. Mas‘údí, Les Prairies D’or, iii, 422. Freytag, Arab Proverbs, i, 276 and Meidaní (Bulak edition), i, 139, when it comes at the end of the month.
- 165:9
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- 165:11
O letter of condolence! Because it is supposed to be a very difficult thing p. 166 to write if the deceased is not a near relative, or because it is a painful thing for one who is bereaved to read.
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- 167:2
… A weaver: The vocation of the weaver appears to have been regarded by the Arabs as a degrading one. Cf. Letters, p. 273, 'Verily shaving is learnt on the heads of the weavers ', also Yaqút, Geographical Dictionary, iv, 1036. Cf. Ḥarírí, p. 31, on the subject of the dinar, and p. 628 for an example of similar mutual abuse; also see Horace, Satires, Book I, Satire 7.
This maqáma contains no poetry.
