Sacred Texts Age of Reason Index
XX. Humorous Writings Index
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(Of going in Ships.)
We shall see the trees of the great forests of Taurus and of Sinai and of the Appenines and others, rush by means of the air, from East to West and from North to South; and carry, by means of the air, great multitudes of men. Oh! how many vows! Oh! how many deaths! Oh! how many partings of friends and relations! Oh! how many will those be who will never again see their own country nor their native land, and who will die unburied, with their bones strewn in various parts of the world!
(Of moving on All Saints' Day.)
Many will forsake their own dwellings and carry with them all their belongings and will go to live in other parts.
(Of All Souls' Day.)
How many will they be who will bewail their deceased forefathers, carrying lights to them.
(Of Friars, who spending nothing but words, receive great gifts and bestow Paradise.)
Invisible money will procure the triumph of many who will spend it.
(Of Bows made of the Horns of Oxen.)
Many will there be who will die a painful death by means of the horns of cattle.
(Of writing Letters from one Country to another.)
Men will speak with each other from the most remote countries, and reply.
(Of Hemispheres, which are infinite; and which are divided by an infinite number of Lines, so that every Man always has one of these Lines between his Feet.)
Men standing in opposite hemispheres will converse and deride each other and embrace each other, and understand each other's language.
(Of Priests who say Mass.)
There will be many men who, when they go to their labour will put on the richest clothes, and these will be made after the fashion of aprons [petticoats].
(Of Friars who are Confessors.)
And unhappy women will, of their own free will, reveal to men all their sins and shameful and most secret deeds.
(Of Churches and the Habitations of Friars.)
Many will there be who will give up work and labour and poverty of life and goods, and will go to live among wealth in splendid buildings, declaring that this is the way to make themselves acceptable to God.
(Of Selling Paradise.)
An infinite number of men will sell publicly and unhindered things of the very highest price, without leave from the Master of it; while it never was theirs nor in their power; and human justice will not prevent it.
(Of the Dead which are carried to be buried.)
The simple folks will carry vast quantities of lights to light up the road for those who have entirely lost the power of sight.
(Of Dowries for Maidens.)
And whereas, at first, maidens could not be protected against the violence of Men, neither by the watchfulness of parents nor by strong walls, the time will come when the fathers and parents of those girls will pay a large price to a man who wants to marry them, even if they are rich, noble and most handsome. Certainly this seems as though nature wished to eradicate the human race as being useless to the world, and as spoiling all created things.
(Of the Cruelty of Man.)
Animals will be seen on the earth who will always be fighting against each other
with the greatest loss and frequent deaths on each side. And there will be no end to their malignity; by their strong limbs we shall see a great portion of the trees of the vast forests laid low throughout the universe; and, when they are filled with food the satisfaction of their desires will be to deal death and grief and labour and wars and fury to every living thing; and from their immoderate pride they will desire to rise towards heaven, but the too great weight of their limbs will keep them down. Nothing will remain on earth, or under the earth or in the waters which will not be persecuted, disturbed and spoiled, and those of one country removed into another. And their bodies will become the sepulture and means of transit of all they have killed.
O Earth! why dost thou not open and engulf them in the fissures of thy vast abyss and caverns, and no longer display in the sight of heaven such a cruel and horrible monster.