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BEING asleep I saw myself in a large room like a library, for it had in it a great many shelves filled with books; and there were several persons in it to whom I was speaking of the Christs, their origin and mission, and part in the history of mankind. And I spoke much of Jesus, representing that the doctrine of his immaculate conception was to be understood only in a mystic sense, and that all the story we have of his birth refers solely to his initiation, 3 which is the true birth of the Son of God. And I proved this by many texts and passages from the gospels themselves and other writings. And I spoke also of the origin of Jesus, and how he had been made perfect through suffering. Of this suffering we hear, I said, but little in the one life of his which
is recorded in the gospels. The suffering referred to is a long course of trial and upward progress experienced in former incarnations. And I named some of the more recent ones, but have not been enabled to retain them.
Coming to his passion and death, I explained that these were no atonement in the sense ordinarily understood. For that God does not take the mere shedding of innocent blood as any satisfaction for the moral guilt of others. But that the mystical Blood of Christ by which we are saved, is no other than the secret of the Christs whereby they transmute themselves from the material to the spiritual plane, the secret, namely, of inward purification. And I showed that throughout all the sacred writings the word blood is used as a synonym for life; and that life in its highest, perfectest, and intensest sense, is not the mere physical life understood by materialists, but the essence of that life, the inward God in the man. And when it is written that those in the highest courts of heaven are they who have made their robes white in the blood of the Lamb, it is signified that they have attained redemption through their perfect attainment of the secret of the Christs. And when also it is said that the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin, it is signified that sin is impossible to him who is perfectly spiritualised, and has been baptized with the spiritual baptism. The blood of Christ, therefore, is not the material blood of any man whatsoever. It is the secret and process of spiritual perfectionment attained by the Christ, and that whereby all who, following his method, know God and are initiated, become redeemed and attain the gift of eternal life. And many other things I said, being, as it seemed to me, taught of some spirit, and not knowing beforehand what things I was to say.
Now I perceived behind me, a little to my right, a beautiful marble image of Pallas Athena, which stood in a small recess in the wall, and there fell upon it a bright golden light like sunshine, which varied from time to time to all the seven colours, but more frequently to the violet than to the others. And the light was chiefly on the head and bosom of the figure, which was clad as a warrior with helmet, shield, and spear. And I could hardly determine as I looked at it whether it were a living or a marble form, so life-like was it.
A little while later all the people to whom I had been speaking were gone away, and I was in the room alone with my mother. She was in great distress and agitation, regarding me as lost and
as an apostate from Christianity, nor would she listen to any explanation I could make on the matter. She wept bitterly, declaring I had broken her heart, and made her old age a sorrow and a burden to her by my apostasy, and that I should be utterly cast away unless I repented and returned to the orthodox belief; and she besought me on her knees to recant what I had said. No words can convey the intensity of my pain, and the trouble of spirit caused me by this conduct of hers. My mother seemed to swoon at my feet with the excess of her emotion; and I was on the point of yielding to her entreaties when I saw the door of the room open and a Spirit enter. He came and stood beside me, and said these words, "Whoso putteth his hand to the plough and looketh back, is not fit for the kingdom of God. And whoso loveth father or mother more than Me, is not worthy of Me."
Then the dream passed away and I remember no more: but a deep feeling remained impressed on my mind that the scene was but the rehearsal and foreshadowing of something that would actually occur in my future life.
*** It is a satisfaction, which the sympathetic reader will share, to be able to state that, by taking the dream as a warning rather than as a positive prediction, and observing caution accordingly, opposition of the kind described was reduced to a minimum, and no breach of affection or serious unhappiness ensued.
The image of Pallas illumined by the seven rays denotes the Divine Wisdom in its plenitude, and manifesting all the ---Seven Spirits of God." As beheld on this occasion, it was an emphatic intimation that the doctrine enunciated was uttered under the inspiration of them all, and especially of those represented by the two dominant rays, Love and Reverence. E. M.
71:2 Paris, October 17, 1879. Referred to in Life of Anna Kingsford, vol. i, pp. 315-317.
71:3 Initiation does not necessarily involve the agency of any human institution. The true initiator is in every case the Divine Spirit in the aspirant himself. E. M.