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Forty Modern Fables, by George Ade, [1901], at

The Fable of The Girl Who Could Compromise in a Pinch

    SENTIMENTAL Totty told the Girl Friends all about her kind of Man. She said she would drop the Flag on all Farmers. If she couldn't get one in the Scratch Division she would do without.

    "The Man who wins my cardiacal Regard must be Tall and Dark, with Raven Hair tossed back from a Brow of Alabaster Whiteness," she said, as she reached for another Olive. "He must be Brave, yet Gentle. I would have him a Chesterfield as to Manners and as Bright as Winston Churchill. In Thought and Speech he must be pure and unsullied. Withal, he is to be Strong and Manly. He who would hold down my Rocking Chair must be a Chivalrous Gentleman, and don't you forget it."

    That evening a Red-Headed Boy wearing striped Flannels and smoking a Bulldog Pipe came to the Front Gate and Whistled. She upset four Flower Pots in getting to him.

MORAL: Nothing ever works out according to Specifications.

Next: The Fable of The Satiated Globe-Trotter Who Found a New Kind of Nerve Twister Waiting for Him at Home