Karezza, Ethics of Marriage, by Alice B. Stockham, , at sacred-texts.com
Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Karezza signifies "to express affection in both words and actions," and while it fittingly denotes the union that is the outcome of deepest human affection, love's consummation, it is used technically throughout this work to designate a controlled sexual relation.
Intelligent married people, possessing lofty aims in life and desiring spiritual growth and
development, have it in their power so to accord their marital relations as to give an untold impetus to all their faculties. This is given through the act of copulation when it is the outgrowth of the expressions of love, and is at the same time completely under the control of the will.
The ordinary hasty spasmodic method of cohabitation, for which there has been no previous preparation, and in which the wife is passive is alike unsatisfactory to husband and wife. It is deleterious both physically and spiritually. It has in it no consistency as a demonstration of affection, and is frequently a cause of estrangement and separation.
Karezza so consummates marriage that through the power of will, and loving thoughts, the crisis is not reached, but a complete control by both husband and wife is maintained throughout
the entire relation.
The law of Karezza dictates thoughtful preparation, even for several days previous to the union. Lover-like attentions and kindly acts prophesy love's appointed consummation. These bind heart to heart and soul to soul. There should be a course of training to exalt the spiritual and subordinate the physical. This is accomplished through reading and meditation. The reading should lead to exaltation of spirit, and to the knowledge of the power and source of life. The authors chosen should be illuminated souls, such as Browning, Emerson, Carpenter. It is not easy to advise for individual cases. W.F. Evans, Henry Wood, and R.W. Trine have revealed the law of spirit and given practical helps in life's adjustment.
The meditation should be an act of giving up
of one's will, one's intellectual concepts, to allow free usurpation of kosmic intelligence. In obedience to law, common or finite consciousness listens to kosmic consciousness. Daily, hourly, the listening soul awakens to new ideals.
At the appointed time, without fatigue of body or unrest of mind, accompany general bodily contact with expressions of endearment and affection, followed by the complete but quiet union of the sexual organs. During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange. Unless procreation is desired, let the final propagative orgasm be entirely avoided.
With abundant time and mutual reciprocity
the interchange becomes satisfactory and complete without emission or crisis. In the course of an hour the physical tension subsides, the spiritual exaltation increases, and not uncommonly visions of a transcendent life are seen and consciousness of new powers experienced.
Before and during the time there may be some devotional exercises or there may be a formula of consecration of an uplifting character in which both unite. This aids in concentration and in removing the thoughts from merely physical sensations. The following has been helpful to many: "We are living spiritual beings; our bodies symbolize soul union, and in closest contact each receives strength to be more to the other and more to all the world."
This method of consummating the marriage relation is erroneously called in TOKOLOGY, Sedular Absorption. Many scientists now believe
there is no seed fluid secreted except through the demand of the final act of ejection. If this be true, in Karezza there is no seed to be absorbed, as, under the direct control of the will, the act ceases short of the seed secreting period.
One writer called it Male Continence, but it is no more male than female continence; to secure the greatest good, the husband and wife equally conserve their forces under a wise control; besides, Continence has long been erroneously accepted as the term for abstinence of the physical relation except for procreation.
Karezza is a symbol of the perfect union of two souls in marriage, it is the highest expression of mutual affection, and gives to those practicing it revelations of strength and power. It must be experienced upon a higher plane than the merely physical, and may always be made a means of spiritual unfoldment. This should,
indeed, be called a spiritual rather than a physical companionship. With a due reverence for the deeper meanings of the association, union and soul development are sought rather than fleeting passional gratification.
Karezza gives to the sexual relation an office entirely distinct from the propagative act, a high office in individual development and formation of character. It is both a union on the affectional plane and a preparation for best possible conditions for procreation.
Karezza should always be the outcome, the emblem of the deeper emotions; both husband and wife should hope and expect that the union will contribute to their spiritual growth and development. The marriage bond has given the sex functions a special consecration. In each union under spiritual law this consecration is renewed. There is no defilement or debasement
in the natural and controlled expression of sexual love.
Karezza does not lead to asceticism or repression, but rather to appropriation and expression. In acknowledging the life source and conscientiously devoting the creative principle to achievement, to the activities and purposes of life, one is put in possession of new powers and possibilities.
The time and frequency Karezza can be governed by no certain law. Experience, however, has proven that it is far more satisfactory to have at least an interval of two to four weeks, and many find that even three or four months afford greater impetus to power and growth as well as more personal satisfaction; during the interval the thousand and one lover-like attentions give reciprocal delight, and are an anticipating prophecy of the ultimate union. According
to the law of Karezza, the demand for physical expression is less frequent, for there is a deep soul union that is replete with satisfaction and is lasting. As a symbol it embodies all the manifestations of conjugal love. In all departments of life symbols become less necessary as one develops spiritually. So in this relation one may possibly outgrow the symbol. But both growth and satisfaction are attained through altruistic desires, and through the mutual recognition and response by husband and wife to the innermost nature of each - the higher self.
Be patient and determined; the reward will come in happy united lives, in the finding of the kingdom of heaven in your own hearts through obedience to law.
Spencer truly said: "When any law works to the advantage of the human race, then human nature infallibly submits to it, since obedience
to it becomes a pleasure to man." Yes, the pleasure is in obedience, for all our sufferings come from ignorance of the law of being, and failure of adjustment to that law.
Men and women should be as willing to learn the law of sex expression as they are to study any other science of life, or any law of nature. It should not only be an intellectual study, but should be a study of experience and adjustment. In Karezza this expression and adjustment are so largely personal that special rules cannot be given, but those seeking the highest development will soon establish suitable conditions.