Sacred Texts  Index  Previous  Next 

sacred-texts |  Web | Powered by Google


Internet Book of Shadows, (Various Authors), [1999], at sacred-texts.com


 
                              
                      KILL A TREE   From: Ali Katz
 to the tune of "Jingle Bells":
 
 Dashing to the mall in a fleet of rented trucks,
 a million hairless apes are out to spend some plastic bucks.
 It's Christmas time again -- or maybe World War Three --
 and to keep their spirits happy now, they've got to kill a tree.
 
 Oh, kill a tree, kill a tree, kill a tree for Christ.
 (Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, accept this sacrifice.)
 Kill a tree, kill a tree, kill a tree for Christ,
 not sure what we're doing, but it seems to work out nice.
 
 
 We know we each deserve a ton or two of crap,
 but to keep the goodies coming now, we've got to spill some sap,
 and string electric lights, and raise the ritual star,
 and bribe our friends and families to forget what jerks we are.
 
 
 And kill a tree ... (etc.)
 
 
 We always kill a tree. That's always been enough
 for videos and GI Joes and all that kiddy stuff.
 But Mommy wants a Harley, and Daddy wants a boat;
 that's prob'ly gonna cost at least a chicken and a goat.
 
 But kill a tree ... (etc.)
 
 
 To enhance everyone's holiday cheer, I highly recommend singing this one
 at the mall. But depending on where you live, you may want to make sure 
 you've got a good bail bondsman's number first.
 
 ................................................................................
 2466
 


Next: Lord of The Ants ("filk" by Karl Lembke