Thomas Williams, Harmony Hall, cock-pit country.
Uncle Green is a rich old man and he never married. Jack is a young man and is poor and preparing to get married, but
cash is hard to get; so he t'ink to get somet'ing from Uncle Green. So he appoint his wedding for a day an' invite Uncle Green. So when de day came, he make bargain wid his cook an' everybody, make up good fire in de kitchen an cook good all what dey have. An' make way outside in open yard where all de guests can sit, an' dere he provide vessels an' stones, each pot have his own place. Pick up de pot hot off de fire, put on de stone. No fire under dat; everyt'ing shut down quite close; no heat escape. So all de guests came from church, coming to dinner. So, nearly to dinner-time, somebody say, "Hi! how is it nearly dinner-time an' not'ing doing? All de pot is on de stone an' no fire under it!" All de chief men know all dat will happen, so dey say, "Never min', frien's, keep quiet, we soon have dinner!" Guests say, "All right, dis is strange wedding!" When dinner-time, Jack, de bride, come out an' say, "Frien's, we soon have dinner. I have a shell an' a whip which know dere duty, an' wi' do it as I speak to dem." So when de hour come, he rise up an' took de shell an' de whip an' came out in de yard among de cooking vessels dat was on de stone, an' blow de shell, to-hoo, to-hoo, to-o, an' fire de whip at de same time an' say, "Boil, pots, boil!" He did dat twice, an' said, "Butler an' cooks, everyt'ing to your posts!" Each one came an' take charge of what dey have to occupy. Jack stand up dere an' say, "Come, now, cook, dish up an' hand to de butter!" So all de guests looking wid amazement and wonder, looking how t'ings going to be. As dey lift up de cover, de steam begin to fly out of every pot and evert'ing well cooked!
Uncle Green propose to get married too an' propose to buy de shell an' de whip. "How much you take for de shell an' whip, Mr. Jack?" Jack say, "Oh, Uncle Green, me hatful of money." His hat was a big hat. Uncle Green send t'ree time to de bank to draw his hat full of gold and silver, notes, an' everyt'ing whatever he could find to fill up his hat.
No instruction given to him how doze t'ings were cooked before and never ask how t'ing was done; say, "Only blow de shell an' crack whip an' everyt'ing wi' cook." So wedding day came, an' he invite, an' prepare to marry to-day. He kill an' cut up an' put up everyt'ing in de pot wid cold water, put on de cold stone outside in de yard. When de hour for dinner come, say, "Frien's, keep quiet; we soon have dinner." De same t'ing as Jack said before he said, only not'ing of fire. So as de cook take up de cover, everyt'ing is raw same way
as it was put in. Say, "Good heavens! dat fellow Jack deceive me. Wonder where I will fin' him!" an' some one say he is at home.
Jack know what will happen. He make himself plain in de way for anyone to see. Constable an' cart come, take up Jack, t'row him into a bag an' carry him to Uncle Green. Uncle Green say, "I want your life! Take him on to de sea an' drown him." So while dey driving on going over a bridge nearly got to de sea, Jack said to de cart-man, "You driving me on an' you forget you' valuable golden horse-whip! Put me on de water-table at de road-side lef' me dere, go for you' whip." While he dere, Jack commence to cry in de bag, "Don' wan' king! Carry me go tu'n king an' I don' wan' king!" A poor old man was passing by at de same time, hear de cry, stop, listen. He was a shepherd driving sheep to de pasture. He say, "'top! what a foolish bwoy! Bwoy, if you don' wan' to go an' tu'n king, come out an' mek me go!" Old man jump in de cart an' loose de bag, an' Jack come out de bag. Old man quick go down in de bag an' Jack tie him an' tek charge of de flock of sheep an' drive dem on. Cart-man come an' take his seat an' drive on wid de ol' man; so drive to de sea, take up de bag an' dump de ol' man. He was drown. So came home to Uncle Green. Say, "Did you drown him?"--"Yes."--"A rascal dat!"
Some day after, Uncle Green was going on de road in de district an' hear big flock of sheep before him coming. Said, "Dat voice is not Jack voice?" When he get up to sheep, sheep pass, Jack arrive, dey meet up. He say, "Stop, Jack!" Jack say, "Yes, sir?"--"You alive?"--"Yes, sir! an' if you t'row me furder I would get gold an' diamond; where you t'row me, it only sheep an' goat I get dere!"--"All right, bwoy! I forgive everyt'ing in a hurry, you go an' show me where de gold an' diamon' is!" An' so it was done. Jack drive de cart himself. When he get to a shallow place he say, "It is here de sheep an' goats are."--"I don' want e! Go on, go where de gold an' diamond is!" Drive on furder to de bank, take up de bag, t'row him in de deep water and drown him. An' dat was de end of de craving man, Uncle Green, an' Jack take all his riches.